A Glimpse of Sunshine

Earlier today my sister in law and I had a thought provoking conversation.

I was sharing with her how interesting it is that you can have such a bond with someone you don’t even know who has suffered in a similar way. As much as you hate the fact that you have this kind of bond with someone, it is also a breath of fresh air.

“How awful to think that”, I thought to myself! To be relieved in a way that other people are suffering and hurting just as much as I am and to feel like you can breathe just by knowing that, is honestly kind of strangely rude!

I mediated throughout the day about this concept only to realize how NORMAL and NOT RUDE it was to think about this. Thinking about other people in this world suffering actually takes my eyes OFF OF MYSELF off my storms, sadness and life, only recognize that God has given me the ability to truly turn my suffering into a God given encouragement for those who may not have the same hope or perspective.

YES, every morning I wake up in sadness knowing that this is my lot in life, to not grow old with the man I love so deeply to know my kids dad will never coach their soccer team and so on, BUT I also recognize that there is a CHOICE to go through life downcast, unusable, tired, angry and truly miserable……even if I feel like I deserve to feel that way everyday. (which we don’t deserve anyway) OR to choose to say, “”WILL YOU OH GOD, TURN MY MOURNING INTO DANCING! “ –psalm 30:11

Paul writes about how our suffering are to be used to comfort those who suffer also……I believe he understood that we can relate in this way as he suffered beyond anyone I have ever read about. He goes on to say that the sufferings in this world DO NOT compare to the glory which awaits us. (Romans 8:18)

I can genuinely say that I am truly truly looking forward to heaven and am not afraid of death! When we leave this earth we enter into our glory, that which has been purposed for us from the moment we were created! Heaven is going to be beyond amazing and we should never be sad to leave this earth or be afraid for that matter. I’m not gonna lie, before Brent got sick I was kinda afraid to go to heaven. It’s the unknown, why would I want to be somewhere I don’t know about!! Since Brent has entered into his forever home ALL I can think about and read about is HEAVEN!!!!! And we should all be reading and grasping an understanding of why we even exist.

The reality is, is that people suffer. All around us. Some to greater extents than others, we all go through our sufferings differently BUT the difference is how we choose to use what God has given us to handle. Seeing others broken and hurting ONLY breaks my heart so much that I somehow want to shout at the top of my lungs that Jesus says, “He gives power to the weak, and for those who have no might HE increases strength. ……….” Indeed we count them blessed who endure.”……The Lord has anointed Me…..to comfort all who mourn…….to give them the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness..” -Isa.61:1-3 “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”- psalm 30:5

I KNOW first hand that this is not easy when you don’t naturally have the Joy of the Lord, but I have to choose to believe that in His time there will be joy, when we understand why God does what He does and we may never know until we get to heaven and our understanding is opened.

Sometimes I hate to be joyful and want everyone around me to know how miserable I am but I realize how silly that it and if I believe God for who He says He is that I need to know that He is true to HIS promises. There are glimpses of joy, where the sun peeks through the clouds and a ray of sunshine shines on my boys and I it is then that I remember to thank God for ALL He has already given to me.